I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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