We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
