If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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