The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
