I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
