Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What a dumb baby whore.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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