Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
