you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
