I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
