I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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