I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Congratulations! We have a period
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
