haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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