are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
