dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how drunk are you?
Several
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
