Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize