with your own penis?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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