it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
