Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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