just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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