Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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