How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
