well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Life is so much better after having sex.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
