My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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