that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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