i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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