These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
