you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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