found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
