thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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