what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
