Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
