There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
People in love make me want to vomit
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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