it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
