Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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