everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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