Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
