I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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