her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
