You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
