ugly people sure do ruin things
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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