it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
