Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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