he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
