i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
