I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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