did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
