i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
