So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
