I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
