I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
