I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
