I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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