I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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