Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
