I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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