Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
