Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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