so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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