There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
