why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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