What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize