Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pants are for mortals
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
