nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Me. At least after what I've been through.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
