Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
MIDGETS
????
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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