I seem to have left my pride at pride
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
