O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
