I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
