so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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