there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize