I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
